


365 Days With Cancer

by princesshaz



Category: One Direction
Genre: Bottom Harry, Crying Harry, Harry in Panties, I suck at tags, M/M, Mpreg Harry, Protective Louis, Sad Harry, Sad Liam, Sad Louis, Sad Niall, Sad Zayn, Scared Harry, Top Louis, at some point, larry stylinson - Freeform, um
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-01
Updated: 2015-12-07
Packaged: 2018-05-04 09:20:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5328914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princesshaz/pseuds/princesshaz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>from the roaring crowds to a quiet hospital ward; harry styles counted his days left, one by one. with his boyfriend by his side and his family and the boys support — can harry fight through?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hello!! this is my first work & I would just like to warn you that this story is set to be 365 chapters long & that I will try and update as much as possible!! also, non of these events happened/or are happening in real life.

something isn't right. harry has been in the checkup room for over an hour now. the other boys didn't seem to make anything of it, all stretched out on the hard plastic chairs — talking and laughing away. out of nervous habit, I brought my fingernails up to my mouth. that's when liam came over. " lou, what's got you all worried? " he asked, giving a concerned look. I mindlessly let my eyes wander to the closed door where harry was situated. liam must've followed my eyes because he then rolled his and slung an arm round my shoulder saying, " oh lou, don't worry yourself! your overthinking! " I looked at him briefly to catch his warm smile, flashing him a small smile back. maybe he's right. yeah, of course he's right. harry's fine; he's fine.   
!!  
my hands shook as I fiddled them in my lap nervously, waiting for the doctor to deliver the results. he'd just tested my blood. my eyes wandered round the small room, paying little attention to the animated posters that explained what your organs do and how they work. then, I turned my attention to the blanket of green paper towel that lay vertically along the large examining bed/table, starting to pick at the small balls of paper that were prominent in different spaces. the sound of the door opening, knocked me out of my thoughts as the doctor returned with an emotionless expression, holding a clipboard full of writing. I bit my bottom lip out of habit as I stared at the doctor, awaiting the results. the doctor seemed to stall, walking slowly over to his desk, moving a few ornaments here and there. when he finally reached his leather chair, he sat down and stared back at me, his dark brown eyes boring emotionlessly into my green ones. the doctor, doctor miller, opened his mouth and spoke. as soon as he did so, I wished that he hadn't opened his mouth and that he had carried on switching ornaments around because these were the words that left his mouth. " harry edward styles, your results came back and im very sorry to say this but, you've been diagnosed with leukaemia; cancer of the blood. " my head started spinning as I crumbled, my legs failing me — letting my fall to the floor. tears flowed down my face like waterfalls and choked sobs left my lips. my breath was shortened as my throat started to close up. gasping for air and letting out strangled screams, the rest was a blur. doctors voices echoed in my mind as I slipped into a deep sleep where cancer wasn't the least of my problems.   
!!  
strangled screams came from the room in which harry was still in, which resulted in me, niall, liam and zayn jumping up out of our seats startled. I bolted for the door, opening it to see harry gasping for air and struggling to breathe on the cold floor. I fumbled in my pockets rapidly for the inhaler that I always carry; for times like these, for harry. finally retrieving it, I dropped to my knees and scrambled to harrys side as fast as I could, bringing his head up carefully to rest on my thigh. stroking his hair in order to try and calm him down, I gently brought the inhaler to his lips but as I did, he blacked out. no. I looked at the doctors who dumbfoundedly stood towering over him, not doing anything to help. " well do something then!! " I demanded, looking back down at the lifeless head resting on my thigh. the previous doctor which harry had been with before the incident, looked at me sadly before carrying on in transporting harry to a breathing machine. once harry was plugged up to the machine and his chest rose and fell once again, me and the boys sat by his bedside until he awoke. I stared at his peaceful, pale face with strands of dark curls misplaced so that they fell on his forehead. I smiled fondly as I surged my hand forwards, carefully, and gently stroked his curls, feeling the thick curls bounce back up once my hand wasn't weighing them down. his pink lips were turned down in a frown and I wondered what the hell went on in here before?   
!!  
I awoke from my deep slumber, gasping and choking. my eyes opened rapidly as I blinked several times to adjust and even though the room was dark, I could still make out four silhouettes; all sitting around the bed I was in. my breathing rate quickened as I attempted to take the plastic tube from out of my nose. that's when a warm hand was firmly placed on my wrist. I let out a small whimper as the bedside lamp was switched on. I squeezed my eyes shut as if doing so would protect me. a light but raspy laugh sounded and I immediately relaxed. louis. the yellow light casted over his face, revealing the crinkle by his eyes and his sunshine smile. I smiled back, full blown with my dimples. but then I remembered. I remembered why I was here and why I had an asthma attack. my face dropped instantly as I zoned out, my fingers playing with a lonley thread on the cotton sheet underneath me. I saw louis' smile fade as a concerned look painted his face. his hands found my wrist again, as he pulled my hand away from the cotton sheet. he then brought two fingers up, underneath my chin to turn my head to face him; making me focus on him. my eyes bored into his and they began to well up, knowing that I couldn't do this to him. I couldn't tell him because it would destroy our relationship. It will destroy our love because he won't want me. it will destroy the band; the success and how far we've come in four years. it's January 1st 2015. today is meant to be a new start. " tell me what's wrong. " louis said, startling me and pulling me from my thoughts. I slowly looked at him, his warm smile and concerned features encouraging me. he entwined our fingers in my lap as I looked down at them. I didn't want to say goodbye to this. a sob left my lips as I broke down uncontrollably, louis rushing to my side. I felt the bed dip as he cuddled me, stroking my hair and rubbing my back, whispering soothing words in my ear but nothing would change the fact. the fact that I had cancer. the boys awoke confused, turning the main light on, only to be faced with us — lay on the small hospital bed. the boys immediately rushed to us, asking what was wrong. my breaths came out in short and shaky puffs as I gained enough courage to look back at louis; my gaze meeting his pleading eyes. i looked at the boys, the same look etched into their faces. I breathed out.  
!!  
my eyes pleaded harry; I desperately wanted to know what was going on. the boys shared a similar look to mine, the concern contorted on their faces. harry let out a deep breath. we waited patiently until he opened his mouth, his eyes welling up yet again. " I-i h—have c-cancer. " it was quiet and muffled but we all heard it. it felt as thought the air had been knocked out of me. I inhaled sharply, tears threatening to fall. my baby. he's got, cancer? I rolled out of the bed and ran out of the room, leaving an emotional harry and three baffled boys. but I simply could not stay in that room and break down in front of them all, especially not harry. I need to be strong for him, I need to protect and look out for him. as I slumped against the wall a few doors down from the room in which the boys and harry were in, I cried. I cried and I screamed and I kicked the wall and I pulled my hair but non of that would stop harry from having cancer. it was then that I realised, after hours of kicking and crying and screaming, that I need to be with harry, by his side, reassuring him and helping him along the way because I sure as hell won't let him fight this battle alone. walking back to the room, I felt shaky. I felt scared and I felt like the whole world had just given up. I imagined how harry felt, recieving the news. I opened the large door and four pairs of eyes looked at me; three of which were burning holes into my head. the last pair looked hurt and sad. I ran over and kissed him. " I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm an idiot, I really am. I love you so much harry. " I said, whilst kissing him passionatley. not for long though, as harrys heart rate quickened on the monitor and the three lads were prizing me off of harry, who's cheeks were stained with a pretty blush. the tube in his nose was slightly tilted, so I gently pushed it back in to straighten it, giving harry a fond look. he still looked like my harry; but I knew that over time, my harry will change. but I also know that I will always love him, no matter what because, he's my harry.


	2. Day 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the first full day of 365 and harry is told that he's to start chemotherapy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was off school yesterday & i am today too, but the good that came from this was that I could post the second chapter — day 1 !!

day 1;  
rain fell heavily as the sound of it hitting the roof echoed throughout the quiet hospital. the only other sounds heard were the squeak of shoes against the pristine floor and the quiet chatter of nurses stood outside various rooms. harrys soft breathing could be heard too, if you listened carefully. the soothing beep of the heart monitor reassured me that harry was okay, as my eyes fixtated on the window, where millions of small droplets of rain formed. my gaze turned to the three boys, stretched out on the chairs that they had nicked from the waiting room; a fond smile forming on my face. niall had a trail of crumbs leading to his hand, where a half eaten cake lay, from his mouth. liam had a magazine in his hands, his head tilted back as loud snores left his lips. zayn had his phone in his hand; his twitter was blowing up with notifications as the screen lit up numerous times. the mention of twitter made me fumble in the pockets of my jeans, trying to move slowly in order to not wake harry up. pulling my phone from my pocket, I unlocked it and immeditaley went to twitter. nobody knew about harry yet, as when we went for our checkups yesterday, they were planned carefully so that nobody knew where we were. my heart sank as I imagined the trends that would start on twitter. tears blurred my vision but I quickly wiped them away with a swipe of my hand; I had to be the strong one for harry. I decided it was best not to tweet out until harry had gotten his head round it. not that you could ever get your head round having cancer but, just until harry was comfortable in telling people.  
!!  
the heart monitor started to beep faster than normal, which caused me to loose interest in my phone and turn to harry, whose breathing had increased in speed. I panicked, desperately trying to calm him down. "shh baby, baby it's me; louis. I'm here baby, come on now. wake up yeah?" I stroked his hair gently and began to caress his face with my free hand. the noise must've woken the boys up as all three rushed to harrys side. "harry!!" " harry, come on, wake up!!" liam and zayn exclaimed, grabbing his hand and trying to gently shake him out of his sleep. a loud gasp sounded as harry shot up, his eyes wide and scared. i brought him into my chest, reassuring him that he was okay and that we were here. "I-i had a bad d-dream." he mumbled into my chest, his hand fisting my shirt tight. "I had a bad dream where, where I-I had c-cancer, lou." my heart dropped, as I looked at the boys for help. they all wore similar expressions, reaching out to stroke harry's hair and calm him down. "baby," I started, my voice shaky. " baby, you do have cancer." harry lifted his head from my chest to look me in the eye, his scared and tearfilled eyes meeting my sad ones. he opened his mouth to speak but only a small sob came out. a nurse walked in, edging towards the bed in which we all huddled round. "harry? your okay to go home today. your chemotherapy is due to start tomorrow, and your doctor has suggested for us to deliver your chemotherapy intravenously ( into your vein via injection ) okay?" harry gave a small nod to the nurse as she proceeded to explain chemotherapy. "so harry, the cancer you have is acute myeloid leukaemia, commonly known as aml. you will have several sessions ( cycles ) of chemotherapy, which last for 5-10 days. after this, you will have your rest period, which lasts 3-4 weeks and let's your body recover from the side effects that the treatment has caused. you will have around 3-4 cycles of chemotherapy treatment and the whole course of this treatment will last around 6 months." all five of us listened intently, as I side glanced at harry to see if he was listening. "unfortunately, by taking the drugs that allow you to get better and help your blood remission, you will develop some cons. cons such as anaemia, brushing/bleeding, tiredness, sore mouth, feeling sick and lastly, loosing your hair." the nurse gave a apologetic look as harry touched his famous curls sadly. "b-but I've been growing my hair out for m-months!!" harry exclaimed. the nurse looked at harry sadly and said, "I'm sorry harry but, you need chemotherapy to get rid of the cancer cells in your body. if we don't do it soon, they will divide up and spread, making it harder for us to get rid of them." harry sighed as the nurse proceeded to inform me and the boys about how we can look after him during chemo and why harry will have many mood swings during so.  
!!  
although harry was allowed to go back to the flat, it wasn't for long. the nurse had strictly said that harry was to pack a bag and come straight back to the hospital as they had to start chemotherapy the next day. as we checked harry out and walked outside with our security, a few paps were dotted about. how did they know we were here? I thought fast, trying to hide harry from the flashing lights, not wanting the world to find out so soon. harry still had his breathing tube in his nose, one of the security guards carrying his tank of oxygen for him. the boys and I formed a huddle around him and four security guards surrounded us, protecting us from the pushing paps, desperate for some news. soon enough, we were in the van on our way to mine and harrys flat. everyone was silent as liam stared out of the window and zayn & niall found interest in their phones. I entwined mine + harry's hands, already feeling the coldness that they held. he looked up at me and gave a small smile, then looked back down at our entwined hands in my lap. the rest of the journey home was like this; silence & peace.  
!!  
when we arrived at our flat, we mirrored what we did at the hospital, huddling round harry as we hurried into the complex. using the lift, we finally relaxed. I pulled out my keycard and swiped it across the lock, the door swinging open. the living room was still trashed from the small New Year's Eve get together we had. red cups littered the counter and floor, crushed crisps scattered around the rug and sofas. I rolled my eyes as I remembered niall running away from liam with his bag of crisps, spilling them all over the rug in doing so. stepping over all the rubbish, I finally made it to the corridor that lead us straigh to mine & harrys room. the only room that was spotless in the house, thanks to harry. "If anybody fucks in our bed, I'm blaming you lou!" I remember harry saying, letting out a chuckle. I walked towards the large wardrobe to the right; harrys wardrobe. as I opened the smooth, white wooden doors, I was met with the familiar clothing of harrys. racks of colourful, silly shirts and rows and rows of boots, stacked and placed neatly. eyeing the large sparkly box almost hidden near the back of the wardrobe, I smirked. harrys "special" box; the box that held dildos, vibrators, plugs, paddles, various flavours of lube and so on. next to his "special" box was his "pretty" box. a sparkly pink box with the words "princess" engraved on the front. I knew what was in there. dozens of pairs of panties and lots of pairs of stockings. there were around 20 shades of lipstick in there and various dressup accessories such as cat ears and bunny ears. above the racks of shirts and boots were harrys collection of head scarves. his favourite green one that brought out his eyes, his sparkly pink one, his american flag printed one. I decided that before anything, I need a bag. I rummaged through the very top shelf that held all of his bags; his old duffle bag from bootcamp, his very old jack will bag, his christmas bag. finally, I found his black leather bag, the one that I bought him for christmas last year. as I opened it up and put it on our bed, I began to take clothes off of their hangers. I packed two pairs of black jeans; the ones with rips and the ones without. I then packed a pair of grey joggers from our 2011 video diaries & the same white long sleeved top that he wore with them. after that, I went to his chest of drawers and pulled open the second drawer; returning back to the bag with 8 pairs of harrys favourite booty shorts; he liked feeling pretty sometimes ( most of the time. ) I quickly stuffed a few pairs of boxers in the bag before going to harrys pretty box and pulling out a few pairs of panties too. I also packed lots of harrys oversized shirts and jumpers; remembering to pack his lilac sweater that he loves so much. I then practically cleared his collection of head scarves and dumped them in the bag. even though he's going to be in bed most of the time, I packed a few pairs of boots; mainly to make his day a bit better by wearing his favourite glittery boots. to finish off the clothes part, I went to his sock drawer and threw in a dozen pairs of socks because harrys feet are always cold. I found two beanies of mine lying about so I chucked them in as harry finds it comforting wearing my things and I find it adorable when he wears them. closing the two large doors of his wardrobe, I walked into our shared bathroom. I packed his toothbrush, mouthwash, loofa, his favourite shower gel and his strawberry shampoo and conditioner into his toiletry bag. remembering something, I bolted into the room again and went into the wardrobe, returning with a few of harrys favourite shades of lipstick. done. as I walked out of our bedroom, looking back at our bed, I saw our his and her blankets. quickly grabbing them, I then proceeded to dodge the mess in the corridor, back towards the living room where the boys & harry were. harry was sleeping. niall took the bag from me as I picked harry up carefully, making sure that tom, his security guard, had good hold of the oxygen tank. liam and zayn huddled round me and harry as we finally left our flat again. back to the hospital we go.  
!!  
with harry safe and warm in his hospital bed again, niall placed his bag on the chair, wiping his forehead with the back of his hand. " jesus, that was a heavy bag!" he exclaimed, sitting down and propping his feet up on liams chair arm. I smiled and sat down at the foot of harrys bed, watching as his chest rose and fell. "lou, why don't you go get yourself some tea yeah? your really tense. we'll make sure harrys okay, don't worry." liam said gently, rubbing my arm. "no thanks, I'd rather stay." I replied, offering a small smile, switching my attention to harry again. "louis, we would never let anything happen to our harry, he's our baby as much as he is yours, yeah? so go and get that tea because you look like you need it." zayn offered. "I said — no. I'm staying here wether you like it or not." I snapped, watching zayn's face drop. feeling guilty, I said," I'm sorry, zayn, you were just trying to be helpful. thankyou. but I don't want to leave him, regardless of who's looking after him. nobody could ever love him as much as I do okay?" zayn nodded and looked away, his attention turning to the door. a dark shadow cast against the fogged up glass.


	3. Day 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> harry starts his chemotherapy & it's time his mum, dad, gemma & robin find out.

day 2;  
the strange shadow outside of the door last night caused us to keep watch overnight, making sure that we, especially harry were all safe. we suspected it was a pap; but harry isn't ready to tell anyone. the hospital room was quiet; the boys talking in a hushed tone due to harry being asleep. small and pale hands gripped my tanned forearm as Harry's face nuzzled into my side; his nose brushing my arm and hot breath forming goosebumps there. I looked down at his closed eyes, eyelashes fanned across his cheeks; fluttering every time he inhaled. niall interrupted my thoughts, have you thought about what your going to say to anne & robin yet?" I blinked slowly as if I'd only just realised that harrys family had no idea. "oh my god. anne. des. robin. gemma. they need to know, they can't not kno—" the sound of harrys voice caused me to turn my attention to him, watching how his pink lips formed a confused pout and his brows furrowed. "who can't not know what?" I exhaled and replied, "your mum. and your dad and robin and gemma. they can't not know about your cancer, harry." his brow relaxed and his lips opened once more. " oh, um, are you, are you going to tell them? I-I'm not sure t-that I can." harrys voice faded at the end, finding a sudden interest in his fingernails. niall, liam and zayn slowly made their way to the bed where harry lay; zayn joining me on his right hand side and niall and liam going to his left. "If you like baby, I'm going to go do it now so they can get here as soon as possible; you don't want to keep this any longer from them do you har?" I said, straightening my posture and pulling my jeans up. harry shook his head, his shoulder length curls moving with him. I quietly whispered to the boys to look after harry before leaving the room and into the deserted corridor. pulling my phone from the back pocket of my black, skinny jeans; I dialled the familiar number, watching as the phone rang. "hello, are you there lou? how are you darling, haven't seen you and harry in a while. how's my baby, is he okay too?" anne questioned, her soft but concerned voice sounding through the phone. " ah, I'm here anne, I'm okay and yeah, I guess we'll see eachother pretty soon." I replied, scratching the back of my neck anxiously. "louis? what's wrong? and why will we see eachother soon? are you and h planning on coming down? and is harry okay? you didn't say." anne asked, worry evident in her voice. "um, well it's harry. we went for our monthly checkups on the 31st & harry. he found out he had leukaemia and his chemotherapy starts today. I'm really sorry anne." my voice shook as I spoke, my lip wobbling until I pinched it between my two fingers. "wha—? my, harry? cancer? oh lo—" loud sobs erupted from her mouth down the phone, as she broke down. the sound of the phone falling on the other end was clear, annes cries ringing through the speaker. I could hear robin, rushing in to find out what all the commotion was about. I then heard anne, explaining that harry had cancer, her voice shaking as her explanation cut off from her uncontrollable sobs and sharp inhaling. a few minutes later, annes voice was clear again as I presumed she had picked up the phone from its place on the floor. "what hospital are you in? we'll be there as soon as we can. tell him that I love him so so so much and I love you too, yeah? take care of my baby for me?" tears had been threatening to fall ever since anne had broken down, but hearing her frantic and worried voice just set me off. " um, um we're in North Manchester General Hospital. I, I will anne, I can only promise you one thing and that is that I'll look after harry with every thing in me. I promise you. he's my world." I replied, my voice wavering and cracking. with a few last words from anne, she hung up, stating that she's on her way. I sighed as I slipped my phone back into my pocket, wiping my eyes with both my hands. as I walked back to the hospital room, I inhaled and exhaled heavily, calming myself down. for harry; I'm being strong for harry. pushing the door open, all eyes were on me; a nurse stood at the foot of the bed, her face contorted with confusion before she turned back round and carried on doing what she was doing. "what? what's going on? why didn't you tell me boys? have you done anything yet?" I threw questions at both the boys and the nurse, becoming panicked in case I'd missed something. harry was the first to speak up. "lou, it's fine, the nurse has only just come. the boys were insisting on going getting you before you came in." I let out a breath that I didn't even know I was holding, walking over to his bed. "your mums on her way, she told me that she loved you to the moon and back & told me to look after you. I told her that I would because I love you harry, okay?" I said, carding my fingers through his mess of curls. harry started to cry, as tiny sobs racked through his body. "sh,sh,sh, don't cry little one." I cooed, cuddling his head into my chest, rocking him side to side in order to calm him down. when he finally calmed down, the nurse began to speak. "okay harry, so I've told you about the chemo before haven't I? overtime, you will loose hair and become irritated because of chemo but you need to remember that this will help you. all I'm going to do, is stick this needle here," the nurse said, holding up a sharp needle, "will be inserted into this vein here." pointing to a prominent green vein on harrys wrist. the lads and I grimaced, the thought going through us. harrys eyes were wide and scared, but he nodded along, listening intently to what the nurse had to say. before the nurse could say more, the door opened, startling us all.  
!!  
it was anne, her hair a mess and wearing a thick coat with a duffle bag at hand. following her was robin, carrying another duffle bag. last to enter through the door was gemma, her eyes red and puffy, tears stained her cheeks. she held a tissue in one hand and a relatively small, compared to robin & annes, bag. fluffy pink pjamma pants adorned her legs; matching slippers on her feet. "oh har" anne cried out, dropping her bags and running over towards the bed, throwing herself on harry. when anne stood back up again, fresh tears stained her cheeks as she looked back at robin and gemma. gemma was next, as she dumped her bag on nialls chair and ran to her brother, flinging herself on him. "oh harry, harry." gemma sobbed, listening to harrys quiet sniffles and burying her head into his neck. standing back up again, the siblings looked at each other, before robin was walking towards him. robin gently leaned down, letting harry wrap his arms around him. "my boy, my boy." he mumbled into harrys hair quietly. when robin returned to anne and gemma, silence filled the room. the nurse coughed. "now harry, I'll repeat myself again, seen as though your mother and sister and father were not present when I explained." all five of us and now harrys family, turned to the nurse. "right so, we're going to insert this needle now. I'd recommend squeezing someone's hand or arm, it might hurt a bit." harry immeditaley gripped my hand, his sweating palms desperately trying to stay entwined with mine. I put my other hand over our hands for extra support as the nurse got the cotton wool at the ready underneath the needle that was about to go into harrys vein. harrys eyes clenched shut, his teeth gritted as the needle slid into him. the needle was in his arm for around 10 seconds as the chemo was injected into him, before it was pulled out and the cotton wool was immediately placed over the small hole. as the nurse taped the cotton wool to harrys arm, I kissed his sweaty forehead repeatedly to reassure that he did well and that I was proud of him. I pushed his curls off of his face, before getting off of the bed leaving harry confused. when I returned, I brought harrys favourite green head scarf with me. as I got back onto the bed, I wrapped the scarf around his head so that his curls were pushed back off of his face. harry looked up at me with his bright green eyes and his long eyelashes, his pink lips turning up into a small smile. I smiled back down at him, forgetting that the nurse, the lads and harrys family were in the room, leaning down to capture his lips in a kiss. we kissed like nobody was watching until the nurse awkwardly coughed, wanting to get into the medicine cabinet behind me. the boys and gemma laughed as they watched harrys face go red. I chuckled at his embarrassment and kissed each of his hot cheeks.  
suddnely, the door clicked open and everyone's gaze shifted towards the door. "what are you doing here?" I exclaimed, clenching my fists in anger.


	4. Day 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> an unexpected appearance is made and louis isn't happy.

day 3;  
I was seething. I gritted my teeth so hard it hurt. the room was silent; all eyes on the unwanted guest stood smirking in the doorway of harrys room. harry looked like a deer caught in headlights; he didn't want anybody to know, especially not this person. niall, liam and zayn glared at her, clearly not happy either that this person had made an appearance. "so, what's going on here then?" she spoke, raising an eyebrow and smirking in my direction. swaying her hips as she waltzed into the room, her gaze fixtated on me and harry; eleanor stopped at the foot of the bed. placing a hand on her hip, she then opened her mouth to throw another comment before I stood up abruptly; startling everyone. eleanor walked towards me, using one of her manicured fingers to push me backwards onto the bed; her fist clenching the neck of my band top, bringing me closer to her. she moved towards the side of my head, her breath hot in the shell of my ear as she whispered, "shh, lou, don't say a word." before I could spit a harsh comment her way, she kissed me deeply, forcing me to kiss back. when she pulled away, wiping the excess saliva from her lips, she winked at me and sat in one of the chairs that the boys had abandoned before; waiting for the show to start. still shocked, and angry, I turned to harry, his eyes filled with tears and he tried to keep an emotionless face. his lip wobbled hopelessly as eleanor hummed, filing her nails as if nothing in the world could spoil her mood. "har—" I started. "no. j-just don't l-lou." harry interrupted me, his voice filed with heartbreak and emotion. "just let me explain please, harry. It wa—" I tried again. "NO! just go. please just leave now." harry sobbed, pointing at the door. eleanor smiled, clearly please with herself as I stood up from off of the bed and walked away; making sure to shoot daggers at eleanor as I passed her. as I opened the door, I looked at harry sadly, before stepping into the bright white corridor of the hospital.  
!!  
after two hours of waiting; occupying myself by reading the magazines lay out on the large wooden tables in the centre of the waiting room, I finally decided to leave the hospital and go to the bar. I weighed the pros and cons out of what would happen if I went but in the end, I thought 'fuck it' and proceeded to walk through the large, automatic doors. breathing in the fresh air of 7 o'clock, I made my way to a nearby club that I've visited many times in the past. walking in the club, the loud music filled my ears as I slid past the sweaty, dancing bodies on the dance floor, to the bar at the other end. sitting down on a purple velvet cushioned stool, I eyed the barman, catching his attention as he came towards me, a cloth in his hand resting on the wooden counter. "I'll have a pint mate." I asked, sliding a £10 note across the counter to him, as he nodded in return, giving me my change. I watched him grab a glass, walking over to the beer tap and placing the glass underneath the funnel. as he turned the tap on, the frothy liquid began to rise and my mouth began to water. "he' ya mate." he said, passing me my drink from over the beer tap. as soon as it was in my hand, the glass was pressed to my lips as I let a good amount of the frothy liquid slide past my lips and down my throat; enjoying the cold sensation it brought to my mouth and throat. as I chugged the rest down and set the glass back on the counter, the barman raised his eyebrows as if to ask if I wanted another. sending a quick nod his way, he came over and repeated the process, handing me my drink again. letting the beer flow down my throat, I started to ease up a bit, forgetting all about eleanor and harrys cancer and all the bad things in life, just for a while. I paid the barman for my second drink and then set off to the dance floor, the beat loud in my ears. "hey, wanna dance?" a loud whisper rang through my ears. as I turned around, I took in the sight of this man. his dark brown hair, tamed high in a quiff. his eyes were brown and glassy; distressing that he's been drinking. "sure!" I replied, dragging him to the centre of the dance floor by his wrist. as we moved in time to the beat, the man, who I still haven't caught a name from, began sucking and biting my neck; making a purple bruise. I thought about harry. shit. harry. If this gets papped and published in a newspaper, not only will I be outed but I'd really upset harry. I can't do this. I pushed the man away, running off back to the bar. asking for another pint quickly, I paid and chugged it before running out of the doors of the club. i pulled my phone from my pocket and checked the time. 8:30pm? already? the time had gone to quick and harry, the boys and harrys family are bound to be looking for me. the club wasn't far from the hospital so I ran as fast as my legs could carry me, through the automatic doors and to harrys room; room 8 on the first floor. as i quietly pushed the door open a fraction, I saw that the only people present in the room were niall, who was asleep, and eleanor & harry. eleanor was saying something to him, harry trying to glare at her but looking way too cute. as I barged in loudly, making an entrance, eleanor turned to look at me, smirking and moving away from harry. as I stepped into the room, harry looked at me. my disheveled hair that was stuck to my head with sweat from dancing, my glassy eyes from drinking and lastly, the dark purple love bite on my neck. tears fell as harry broke down. the door opened as liam, zayn, anne, robin, gemma and now des walked through; taking one look at harry and rushing to comfort him. "lou? why aren't you comforting him?" liam asked, confused. then he saw the lovebite, his jaw hanging open and anger flowing through his veins. " I CANT BELIEVE YOU." liam shouted angrily, storming over to me and throwing a punch at my face. as his fist collided with my cheek, I fell to the ground. getting back up and throwing a punch to his nose. with a bruised cheek and liam with a possibly broken nose, blood flowing, liam went to throw another. zayn shouted, "OI, BREAK IT UP LADS, BREAK IT UP!" catching liams flying fist in his hand, standing in front of me. "YOUR PROTECTING HIM?, HE CHEATED ON HARRY!" liam screamed, seething with anger. "what? what the fuck louis?" zayn turned round to me and eyed the lovebite on my neck. zayn wasn't as violent, only burning holes into me before going back to harry who was so shocked, he sat there silently. his lips were frozen in an o shape and tears fell. "harry, it isn't what it looks like, I swear to go—" I started. "ISNT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE? YOU HAVE A LOVEBITE ON YOUR NECK AND IT WASNT THERE BEFORE YOU LEFT!" robin shouted, his voice booming though the room. his threatening demeanour scared me as I slowly backed away, closer to the door clutching my sore cheek/jaw. "you've hurt me louis. I. I-I have cancer and y-you go out and, and cheat on me?" harry spoke, his voice cracking. my heart sank, knowing that I'd really messed up this time. eleanor stood up, clearing her throat and waltzing towards the door. "well I've thoroughly enjoyed today's events and I hope we can get together soon! I enjoy your company and harry? we've spoken haven't we babe? yeah, just think about what I said."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this chapters a bit shorter; well I feel like it is anyway, I'm sorry!! I won't be posting tomorrow but I'll try and write two chapters in Sunday!


	5. day 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the guy from the bar shows up & louis's apology to harry may not be so innocent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's smut in this chapter & im really not good at it, so I'm so sorry!!

day 4;  
the previous night, I had slept in the waiting room; sprawled out across a few chairs. I knew that I had messed up but I wanted a chance to explain. explain that I had thought of harry instantly and ran back here. I sighed and stood up, de-creasing my top as best I could and brushing down my jeans. my palms were sweating as I brought them up to my mouth, chewing on my nails nervously. right. I have to go and apologise. at least I can try right? wrong. as I entered harrys room, there stood the guy. the guy who gave me the love bite that kicked everything off. I hadn't realised that my mouth was agape until zayn sneered, "close your mouth, it might latch on to someone else's." I glared at him angrily as he kept a firm hand on liams leg to stop him from jumping me. "I didn't come here to cause trouble," I started. "what? you've already caused trouble louis, now get your ass out of this room before I—" liam threatened before I cut him off saying, "alright liam, I don't need your smart remarks, I came here to apologise and tell you that it wasn't what it looked like, I swear." now it was the nameless guy's turn to speak, "I don't understand? I followed you here last night when you ran off, to get your number but I decided to come back the next day, you know. it's more convenient, I think." "YOU THINK? MORE FUCKING CONVENIENT? YOU BETTER GET OUT OF THIS ROOM NOW KID BECAUSE IM GON—" liam screamed, his muscles clenching in his shirt. the nameless guy opened his mouth, smirking and said, "what you going to do ey? stop me from seeing this fit lad here?" before smacking my ass hard and winking my way. "DONT YOU SMACK MY ASS! YOU ARE THE REASON BEHIND ALL THIS. THATS MY BOYFRIEND RIGHT THERE!" I screamed, pointing at a very scared harry. "that's your boyfriend? for a fit lad like you, I would've thought you'd have gone for somebody more your type. you can do so much better." replied the nameless guy, who then smirked at harry. "RIGHT, YOU ASKED TO GO DOWN, AND YOUR GOING DOWN MATE." liam yelled and stood up, making his way towards the nameless guy. liams fist collided with the guys nose, then his cheek and then square in his face. the guy, who's name was still a mystery, clutched his face as he tried to fight back. "that fucking piece of shit in that bed, really? you can do better! you can do fucking better!!" the guy shouted, throwing punches back at liam. "don't you ever fucking say I can do better than harry.  
harrys my everything and if anything, he can do better than me." I said, my voice slow and calm but threatening and scary. blood was smeared over the pristine, polished floor, contrasting. the guy looked me in the eye and replied, "what?" laughing as if what I'd said was hilarious. despite having a possible broken jaw & nose, he laughed, slapping his leg and struggling to breathe. finally calming down, he says, "I don't even know if he's a dude or a girl, with his long hair and thick eyelashes. he's so pale; you can just tell that's he sick. look! he has girly lips; they're too plump and pink to be men's lips. his arms are so thin, he has no muscle. is he transgender?" throwing questions right, left and centre, I look at harry. the way his lips wobble as he hugs himself; I can tell that he's getting insecure. "you need to stop. your calling them bad things? they're just a few of the many reasons that I'm in love with him. his long curls and thick eyelashes make him even prettier, along with his plump, pink lips that look so cute when he pouts or smiles. his lack of muscle doesn't matter; he's beautiful inside and out. harry has the biggest heart I've ever known someone to have and what does it matter? he doesn't need to be pegged as a male or a female. you can be whoever you want to be and wear whatever your comfortable wearing. it's your choice; not anybody else's. and that's why your opinion doesn't matter. I don't even know your name and your throwing comments about." I finished, staring the nameless guy in the eyes. he sighed, blood still trickling down his arm and dripping on the floor. "wow, you must really love him." he whispered, the quietest I've heard him in the short time of knowing him. "I do. and that's why you need to realise that whatever happened last night, didn't mean anything. knowing that the love of your life is sick, is the most painful thing you could ever go through. I worry about him every day, and having a few drinks isn't the best way forward but that's how I cope. you gave me a lovebite, I thought of harry. I ran to the hospital as soon as possible. how long was I with you for, hmm?" I spoke, my voice calm and steady. "not even two minutes." he replied soon after. "exactly. now I suggest you apologise and get the fuck out." I exclaimed as I watched him turn to harry and open his mouth. "I'm sorry, harry. I shouldn't have said the things I said and I shouldn't have taken advantage of your boyfriend when he was drunk. you are quite beautiful and I hope you get better soon." the nameless guy said, kissing harrys hand as harry blushed. "okay, a bit too close thanks." liam deadpanned. "for the record, I'm Luke." the not nameless guy said, before walking out the door, giving me one last glance. now the room was quiet again and the first one to break the silence was harry. "um, I'd like it if everyone left please," he started as everyone began to make their way out of the door, giving concerned but heartfelt looks. I joined the que to go outside before harry said, "apart from you, louis."  
!!  
walking towards harrys bed, I sat down on a chair. "lou, I-I love you so much it hurts but," harry spoke. "but I can't find a way to forgive you just yet." my heart dropped as I opened my mouth. "harry, I'll do anything for you; anything and everything in the whole world, you know that right?." I spoke, as harry nodded in response. "I'd take a bullet for you, I'd die for you." I spoke again. "my love will never fade for you because your the one. I will wait as long as possible for when your ready to forgive me because I love you, so so much, it aches in my heart." harry had tears in his eyes as he let his tears fall, cascading down his pale but flushed cheeks. wiping them away, harry entwined our hands and pulled me in for a kiss. it was a passionate kiss, our tongues dancing with eachother as our teeth clashes. little moans from harry could be heard as I took his bottom lip in my mouth, sucking it slowly. letting go of his lip, harry pulled my head down so that the side of my head was level with his mouth. "I know a way you can make it up to me." he spoke, his hot breath against my ear. as I pulled away, he bit his lip and looked at me through his eyelashes. a loud groan erupted from deep in my throat as I palmed my dick through my black jeans. harry followed, his small hand rubbing over his not so small bulge. "wait? have you had your chemo yet?" I said out of the blue. harrys repsonse came with breathy moans as he replied, "y-yeah, nurse came in this, oh-h, earlier this morning." that's probably partly why he's so horny; chemo can have that side effect. as harry kicked the sheet off, I was met with his pink shorts and knee high, sheer & white socks with the little bows at the knee. my breath got caught in my throat as I growled. peeling my black jeans off, I stood in my boxers and tee. I sat at the foot of the bed, listening to harrys heart beat faster on the heart monitor. he teasingly shuffled out of his shorts, revealing the white, lace panties underneath. his hard dick was barely contained in the panties, the pink tip sticking out of the top, leaking precum. I moaned at the sight, collecting the precum from his tip on my fingers and bringing them up to harrys mouth. he whimpered as he sucked on my digits, swirling his eager tongue around my two fingers. "l-lou, lou can I suck your dick? want it, p-please?" harry whimpered as I took my fingers from the warm heat of harrys mouth. how could I deny that? as I snapped the band of my boxers on my hips, harry whimpered, opening his mouth as if he was begging for it. I took my cock out; freeing it from the restraints of my boxers, the tip hard and red. I groaned at harrys facial expressions. he's suck a cockslut. finally bringing my cock to harrys face, I rubbed it along both of his lips, smearing the precum on them. bringing him in for a kiss, I tasted myself, morning into eachothers mouths. I slipped my dick in his mouth, the heat enveloping my member. as harry took his time, licking the tip and licking fat stripes up the underside; I decided to shove it in his mouth, gagging him. he mewled and slackened his jaw, indicating to me that he wanted me to fuck his mouth. with a little help from harry, and by help I mean, little licks here and there and the facial expressions he made, I brought myself closer and closer to my orgasm. pulling out, harry whimpered disappointedly. "fuck harry. so good princess, so good. need to prep you; gonna fuck you good yeah?" I spoke, my words not making sense in my mind but carrying on, non the less. bringing three digits up to his mouth, I told him to suck. as he did so, I managed to slip my hand into the back pocket of my jeans, that lay on the floor after I had discarded them. I quickly found the lonely condom that had been in my pocket since New Year's Eve, as after our checkups, me and harry had planned to, you know, fuck. placing it on the bed, I turned my attention to harry, who's face was contorted in pleasure and happiness as he sucked on my fingers. saliva was running down my fingers and down my palm as I pulled them out of his mouth. going down to his pink hole, I pushed a finger in. the heat engulfed my finger, his hole clenching around it greedily. as I worked the first finger in and out, I added another finger. scissoring him open, harry begged for more, writing in his panties that were pulled to the side. I added the final finger, pumping them all in and out with a fast rhythm. from watching the way his tight, pink hole swallowed my fingers, my cock had become painfully hard. as I pulled them out, harry whimpered. i rolled the condom on and with harrys hole being drenched in slick and saliva, I figured we'd be fine without lube. circling harrys rim with my cock, he let out a high pitched moan. the feeling of his clenching hole led me into temptation as I gave in and pushed my hole length in, so my balls were flush with his bum. the wait for harrys okay was hard, as the tight heat engulfed my cock. "I'm good lou, I'm so g-good." harry moaned, thrusting himself down on my dick. with the okay that i needed, I pulled most of my cock out of his hole, leaving an inch in before thrusting all the way back in. rabbiting into him, I groaned out, "so tight princess, no matter how many times I fuck you; your always so tight and so good for me baby." hearing harrys moan at the praise, I thrusted faster, nearing my orgasm, the heat in my stomach coiling. slinging his legs over my shoulders, I had more access to his hole, letting my cock go deeper inside him. when harry let out a high pitched, loud moan, I knew I had hit his sweet spot. "o-oh lou, faster. harder. deeper. right there, oh lou please, p-please!" harry whimpered, my balls slapping against his bum, as his bed squeaked. the sound of his heart rate was getting louder, as we both neared our orgasms. taking his hard, pink, leaking cock in my hand, I pumped him in time to my hard thrusts, watching as harrys face changed as streaks of white coated his belly, up to his chin. as harry looked me dead in the eye, he took one of his fingers and collected his cum up, bringing his finger to his mouth and sucking on it, his cheeks hollowed and pink lips stretched around it. I came deep and hard in harry. pulling out slowly and tossing the condom in the bin at the side of the bed. as soon as i rolled over next to harry, two nurses barged in. "oh, oh my, were so sorry. harrys heart rate increased incredibly, we were concerned so we— yeah, we'll come back soon." one of the nurses said, her face turning a bright red as she scurried out. "harry, can't you get pregnant?" the second nurse said. "u-um, y-yes I c-can." harry stuttered, his face pink and hands clenching the sheet that was pulled over him. "did you guys use a condom safely? did it break? if you start to get sick harry, you cannot ignore it. I know your going through chemotherapy and that the side effects can be sickness but the chances of a condom breaking aren't that rare. just call for me okay?" the second nurse spoke, before leaving the room. I decided to quickly get dressed before everyone came back, the thought of harry getting pregnant in my mind. thousands of questions raced through my mind, but one stuck out. If harry was pregnant, would the cancer affect the baby?


End file.
